Car seat cacophony

Sigh. It seems every time I get back in a mellow groove, free of Mommy Wars drama, there's an updated news release or headline that fans the flames.
Today, the AAP released it's newly updated carseat recommendations for American kids and parents. With it has come an uproar in self-styled educational advocates, out to show just how ignorant the masses truly are.
Lately, that has become my biggest pet peeve. Snark, superiority, and general nastiness all wrapped up in the guise of "educating other moms, so if even 1- just one!- changes their ways, it was all worth it". Sigh. Anyone else tired of it all?
Perhaps it's because there is not a single issue or hot topic that gets me in a tizzy. I can't honestly think of anything that I'm passionate about...at least to the degree most of my friends are. Or maybe it's because I find that way too many of my recent parenting choices have been made out of fear- fear of being torn up and lit on fire by my fellow moms, fear of being criticized on the streets, and fear of forever screwing up my kids. Whatever it is, "armchair advocacy" is getting my goat in a major way.
It never occurred to me how bad it was until I realized I'm afraid of bringing Ladybug in public. Because of the zeal I've seen in moms correcting others, I worry someone will have something to say to me about any number of things, but her car seat is my prime concern. I've seen mothers "educate" strangers online, on blogs, and Facebook pictures. I know I do not have it in me to show grace, "be educated", and not burst into tears if I am confronted. Let's face it, those sort of things are never done in love. There's always at least a small air of superiority when it comes to parenting issues.
So there's no real point to this post, I guess. Just expressing my frustration with extreme motherhood these days. What do you think? Can advocacy go to far, or is it worth alienation in the name of education?

Til next squeak,

Through a mother's eyes.

If you're a mom and part of Facebook or any online forum for mothers, then you've probably at least heard in passing about the controversy surrounding pictures of nursing infants.

"Oh the obscenity!!"

I took this picture today while nursing Ladybug, who will be 4 months old this week.
As I learned before her birth with all my internet research, NIP (nursing in public) is quite controversial. Both in real life and online, NIP brings with it a whole host of issues. Cover or not? Nurse at the table when out to eat or hide away in the bathroom? Leave the house at all? Is it legally protected or subject to public indecency laws? Mom's right to breastfeed or baby's right to eat or the public's right to not be grossed out? That's just the tip of the iceberg!
There are Facebook groups, blog posts and carnivals, news articles, and forum debates about breastfeeding. The arguments go back and forth, and honestly? I don't think any one person is more right or more wrong than any other when it comes to all the different opinions on nursing mothers. I truly believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion, regardless of whether or not I agree with them.
When I see other moms nursing, yes, it makes me uncomfortable. I am embarrassed to admit it, but there it is. I personally choose to cover up when NIP because, as you can see, my boob is 3x the size of my daughter's head. For me, covering makes me less afraid of a confrontation with a belligerent or ignorant stranger.
Yet when I'm at home, I look down at my baby and see nothing but the love I have for her. I am often overwhelmed by how much stronger I am as a woman and mother because I am nursing her. We have overcome much on our journey. From a past riddled with sexual abuse and body image issues, to flat nipples and painfully broken/bloody skin, to oversupply and thrush, to paving the way as our family's first breastfeeder in this generation, Ladybug and I have shown ourselves to be strong women.
I guess I can now understand why women want to post pictures of themselves breastfeeding their kids. After all, in a formula saturated society (no pun intended), breastfeeding for any length of time is something to be proud of, and something to celebrate. It's not about making other moms feel bad. It's not about getting our jollies by showing off the goods. And it's not even about promoting breastfeeding. It's about seeing the world through a mother's eyes. It's about the love we have for our children and the pride we have in ourselves.


Til next squeak,

A slightly sinking feeling

I'm not a very good liberal. Honestly. Then again, I don't think I have it in me to be a conservative. So, where does one go from here?
I've got that old sinking feeling that God's about to boot me in the behind to a new level of...something. Exactly what I don't know, but the feeling is there.
It's been on my heart for awhile now that perhaps some of the things we've been going through as a family and on a personal level have been due to my not-conservative-ness. So often you hear that God wants His people to be xyz because the Bible says abc and of course this means you should think/feel/believe 123. Gah. It's enough to make one want to rip their hair out in frustration.
The question then becomes one of belief vs. fake-itude. (love my word-makeitup-ness? I know I do) If God truly wants His flock to genuinely believe xyz, then is it acceptable to "fake it til ya make it"? How does one change a belief? Is it even possible?
Do you just research the issues? Or just read your Bible? Do you just say "God says this, so I believe this", even if you don't feel it in your heart?
Mmmm, that taste in your throat yet? Perhaps it's your own version of that slightly sinking feeling.

Til next squeak,

Church heathen

1st, props if you know the song I stole the title from.
2nd, this topic has been swirling through my mind goo for a few weeks now. It's pretty hot button, so it'll fit perfectly here.
I'm quoting from a friend's post on my message board. While I love what she said further on (it really REALLY challenges the way we as a church treat sin/sinners), I'm completely enamored of the basic concept as well.

You know what? Divorce makes me sick. It is an abomination!! It is unnatural! How do you take apart two people when they have been made one! God actually says in the bible that he hates divorce! And it is SO SICK, there are divorced people at my CHURCH! And you know what, we can't preach against divorce because it might offend them, and if we offend them we can get sued! But some pastors even preach that divorce is okay! UGH. The divorced people are hindering church for the rest of us. And you know what is worse? They are teaching my kids in school that divorce is OKAY! Even some of the TEACHERS are divorced!! Isn't the disgusting? There are tons of parents in my kids class that are divorced too... it just makes me so sick, I wish there was a law banning divorce!

Now think about that for a second.
That rant should sound familiar to anyone who has ever attended church. Simply insert the word "homosexual" wherever you see "divorce".
Hmmm. Makes you sit back, doesn't it?
While my dear Snarfy had a fantastic point, I want to address the original point.
What if, just what if, we as a church body actually did take a radical stand against divorce? Hmmm, wait, I know the church prefers "pro" stand points. So, what if we became passionately pro-marriage?
I don't mean making sure that no one besides heterosexual couples can marry. Currently, that's the stand we as a people of faith take. I mean making divorce the life destroying sin that it is. Divorce is not a choice to toss around so flippantly as we currently do. I see nowhere in God's word that says it's fine to split if you no longer get along. Hell, even abuse is not a reason to divorce! And frankly, what with the Jon and Kate scandal, let's remember that even adultery is not a reason to divorce. We are "allowed" divorce for unfaithfulness because of the hardness of our hearts. Pretty sad, huh? Isn't it far better to pray for a softening of the marriage partners' hearts unto reconciliation?
Matthew 19
Divorce
1When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. 2Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.
3Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"
4"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' 5and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? 6So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
7"Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"
8Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."
10The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry."
11Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."
Now it's not as though I have no clue what I'm talking about. Mr. P. and I very nearly divorced. I cheated on him! Yet here we are today, strong in our marriage with our hearts joined to each other as it should be.
What if we stopped teaching our kids that divorce is an option? Ya know, we tell them that by the example we set in our own lives. What do you think marriage would look like if we taught our kids this simple concept?
We as a church say that marriage is a living example of Christ's relationship with us. Oh really? Do you think He'd ditch us and ask for alimony? Frankly, we all cheat on the Lord all the time. Too much time online? Coveting your neighbor's green lawn and nice new Lincoln? Perhaps obsessing over your charts and spending all your waking thoughts desiring the next blessing? ( ) All these are examples of giving our love, devotion, and attention to something other than our Husband. Yet, He never leaves us by the wayside. Why, if we're saying that our marriages are pictures of this beauty, would we ever consider divorce for any reason at all? Why would we allow our kids to think it's an "acceptable sin"?
No sin is worse than any other. However, in the church we've come to a place where some are considered by us fallible mortals to be far more deserving of our venom or passion than others. And that, Dear Reader, has contributed to the dividing line between "Body parts". When the mouth is no longer speaking with the eyes, and the hand has not a thing to do with the foot, where do we end up?
A bunch of church heathens, gossiping in the pews.
Just think on it for a bit. If we treated divorcees half as poorly as we treated homosexuals, then how would outsiders look at us? And if we took a stand and lived what we preached, then how would they see us?

Til next squeak,

God hates liberals...

Right? Isn't that what we're taught in church? Stick a big red "L" on their shirts and let's all call it a day.
It's no secret to most that I'm proudly liberal leaning. It's also no secret that the vast majority of the people I know are quite conservative.
That said, it should also come as no surprise that I've been feeling lost and miserable, kinda floating along without friends.
I have been wondering for awhile now why God has brought me into the company of so very many conservative people. If we serve a God who truly has our very best in mind, then what the dealio?
In the last 3 years, I've tried on and off to become more conservative, both in my manner and my thoughts. Can we say epic fail? Each time I try, I just end up...well, where I am right now. Feeling like a fool who lacks the very thing that makes one a Christian.
All these feelings are part of what makes me avoid church. I haven't been since October '08. I know I should go back, believe me I do. But I just can't. Feeling this way makes me vastly edit what I say, or simply say nothing at all. (I bet you're thinking "Ahhh, so that explains the recent long silences!") That is both in my online interactions, and in real life. (IRL!)
When you feel like you have to tread on eggshells around everyone in your life, it can make a person very jumpy. Sometimes it's easier to withdraw into my little family and forget there's even a larger world out there. When you come down to it, if you have to keep your heart hidden away from those you call friend, really what kind of friendship is that? Or if you have to refrain from speaking up about the hurts and slights you may feel because you are the minority, how is that building up the Body of Christ?
I guess I'm feeling pretty disillusioned with the whole inner workings of Christian fellowship right now. I'm sure we all go through phases like this, but it seems God brings me here regularly. Do I think He wants me to become like those He draws me to? Lord, I'm on my knees crying out "NO!" Please? But if the Body is the true reflection of Him as we often pray to be, claim to be, then perhaps God does hate liberals. And maybe that is why I am where I so often find myself. I pray the answer comes soon.

Til next squeak,

Oh baby, it's on!

So I've decided to do it. Yup, I'll be starting my own message board/forum for Christian mothers.
God, what am I thinking?!
I've gotten a tremendous amount of positive feedback from friends, and I think it has the potential to be something wonderful. Right now, I'm feeling somewhat overwhelmed with all that needs to be thought of when designing your own place. I'm hoping to have it up and running within the week.
So, stay tuned for the addy! I'm hoping that many of you will be able to join us. It should certainly prove to be interesting, if nothing else.



Til next squeak,

Now where'd that ball gag come from?!

Yeah, it's awfully hard to "speak your mind" when you've got one of those bad boys shoved down your throat. Ya know, metaphorically speaking.

When you're like me, admitting that you have conservative friends is kinda like admitting you have a "funny uncle". Everyone looks at you all weird-like and you can tell they kinda wonder to themselves, "How much influence does Uncle Chester have on her?"

Ok, bad analogy, but how about this:

Conservative + Christian = "the norm" (we're just establishing some baselines here...in this case, "the norm" refers to the Christian community, not necessarily society as a whole)

Then what about this:

Liberal + Christian = ????

From what I've experienced, most liberal leaning people are not terribly religious, or at least not of the Christian faith. Now, I myself am a religious Christian who is damn liberal and damn proud. However, when most people think of Christians and their political bent, they think "conservative douche bag". I 2nd that emotion.

Not many of us religious Christians now fit into the liberal ideologies. We are indeed a rare breed these days. But the way you hear the conservatives talk, we're taking over the world and packing it all off in a pretty hand basket straight to Hell.

I've come to the conclusion that most conservatives will whine non-stop about not having any safe arena to air their views (i.e. give each other nice lil back slaps for being so conservative, and of course, oh so Christian) without getting attacked by fetus-eating, gay-orgy-having, pulling-the-prayer-outta-schools-so-we-can-preach-hedonistic-sex-based-baby-killing-slap-your-great-grandma-agendas liberals. Did I mention that we are, of course, never truly Christians as well? I guess we're not doing a good job as a whole of hiding those zippers on the back of our sheep costumes as we initially thought.

What these Christians do not realize is that us liberal Christians have no where to call home, except amongst each other. We're clearly not Christian enough to be around our conservative counterparts, and we're too damn Christian (and thus, too likely to flip to the douche bag side) to be around our non-Christian liberal cohorts. So what do we do?

I imagine a lot of the DBers would say, "Pray! God will show you that your ways are wrong *cough, cough* and you'll be able to learn about what Christianity really means to your daily life and the choices you make if you'd just let Him in!"

You know. Because of course, our choices are not prayed upon at all, nor are they well-thought out and carefully considered.

All that to say that I'm deeply considering starting my own message board for us liberal Christian mamas. We need a safe place to call home as much as the next person, whether the other side sees it or not.

Now someone please get this damn ball gag outta my mouth!

Til next squeak,

If you don't have anything nice to say...

Then don't say anything at all. Remember, 'tis my Maze, and I decide what comments go through or not.

---

Now, that said, I got some wonderful news this week. Mr. P. informed me that my SIL is getting married!



Here's the happy couple:

SIL popped the question, and K accepted. We're thrilled to have her as part of our family.

It's funny to think of being young and in love again. Mr. P. and I were the same age when we got engaged, and it seems a lifetime ago. Yowsa, we're old.

Anyway, I wanted to share the happy news. Weddings are always a joyous time, and I know this one will be no different.

Til next squeak,

Well that just burst my bubble

Have I mentioned how much I hate politics, and all things associated with politics? Like, say, political agendas?
I'm pro-choice. I don't hide and I don't apologize for it. Yes, I'm a Christian. I don't hide and I don't apologize for it. Guess what? It's possible to be both, despite what you may think.
However, getting into a debate over all this BS will kill any joy you may have. Let me tell you, sistah.
Just yesterday, I was thinking about how in a few days time, I'll be going in for my orthopedic appointment for this carpal tunnel garbage. Then we'll know what's going to happen, if I'm having surgery, and when. Yay! But even better than the prospect of no more paw pain was the joy of looking forward to my future with Mr. P.
You see, he finally gave me the go-ahead for us to try to conceive our 3rd child as soon as I've recovered from the surgery. That's something I've been wanting and dreaming about for awhile now. I was thisclose to letting myself browse around for baby items, to dream of baby names, and to plan how to parent our newest sweet little one.
But, after I just had to stick my nose into a conversation about ending abortion (please hear my sarcasm there), now I'm stuck feeling like the world's biggest pile of troll poo.
I don't know if we'll have any more kids. That's not really in my hands to decide. Frankly, we're not the kind of people who should be having kids, and I know that. Most days, I don't let it bug me. I let my heart speak for me, not my logical mind. But then there's days like today when I know that if we did conceive, we'd probably be best off aborting. And if we do conceive, I'm sure we'll hear all about what a mistake we've made. Some days, I'm not sure if I want to go through that again. Other days, I think about how I have yet to have a truly joyful pregnancy, and maybe this time it could be different. After all, we are older now, and married. But then again, not much else has changed.
~sigh~
If you don't struggle with these sorts of thoughts and emotional battles, be grateful. It's not a great place to be. It'll really burst your bubble.

Til next squeak,

This is a rant. This is only a rant.

WARNING: If you are conservative in any way, shape, or form, I HIGHLY recommend skipping this post. Or if you're sensitive to foul language, because I make no guarantees that I'll be able to keep it rated G. Actually, unless you're a commie liberal freak like me, just stop right here. No good can come of it, except for you choosing to send me a nice pipe bomb for Christmas, or perhaps some kind of scathing comment.
Speaking of comments, I think I won't be publishing any on this post. After all, it's only a rant.

---

I'm so done with people. Just call me Mrs. Hermit. Mostly, I'm done with conservatives, but particularly conservative Christians. (sorry to roughly 85% of my readership...can't say I didn't warn ya not to read this post!)
Ever since Election Day, my conservative McCain-anite counterparts have been more or less unbearable. Now, I'll allow that President-Elect Obama did not have my vote either, however there are certain things about politics that Christians need to come to terms with:
(emphasis mine)
Romans 13
Submission to the Authorities
1Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. 2Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. 3For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and he will commend you. 4For he is God's servant to do you good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword for nothing. He is God's servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. 5Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience. 6This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God's servants, who give their full time to governing. 7Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.

And then here:

1 Timothy 2
Instructions on Worship
1I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone— 2for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. 3This is good, and pleases God our Savior, 4who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.

Ok c'mon people. How about instead of all the complaining, the posturing, the self-righteous indignation...
We do as the Lord asks.
~Whoa. Back that truck up.~
Yeah I know, how dare I. But I do.
If I had a buck for every time I've heard something to the effect that now is our nation's time of judgement, or someone "questioning" Mr. Obama's Christianity, I could take my fam and buy a nice lil island somewhere. Ah peace and quiet.
It's time to get real, folks. Either live out your faith, or shut up. Stop grandstanding like a pouting 3 year old who didn't get his lollipop, and do what the Bible tells you to. And no, praying for Obama's assassination does NOT count, asswipe.
Aside from all the politalk, it all boils down to this: conservatives know they're better/righter/godlier than the rest of us. But I ask, is that true? If they show they can't do much more than run their mouths after a defeat, really, how much better are they? Isn't that the kinda behavior us liberal bastards are supposed to indulge in?
Ah but I digress. So much to rant about, so little caring.
The truth of the matter is when I face the Lord at my demise (hopefully not by holiday pipe bomb), I'll probably be one of those wanna-be Christians who are turned away. May as well tell the truth and shame the devil as they say. But the flip side of that is that I just cannot bring myself to be more like them. I used to want that. Hell, I used to try to behave like that, think like that, talk like that. It worked for maybe 4 months before I became increasingly disgusted with myself.
I won't say I'll never be one of those conservative types. When it comes to God and what He can do, I've learned to never say never. I will say that I'm praying to never have my head shoved so far up my butt that I'm incapable of having compassion for anyone around me, or getting crazy-frothing-at-the-mouth offended at every single thing that's not within my definition of morality. Lord, please! If He decides one day that I need to be hopping on the conservative Christian bandwagon, hopefully He'll grant me the grace to remember where I've come from so that I can retain the characteristics I hold dear. If not, well, hopefully someone (Mr. P.) will flame me in a blog rant.
After all, it's only a rant.

Til next squeak,

I just don't get it anymore.

Mr. P. and I have been having on-going conversations about people-in-general, Christians-specifically, and hypocrisy. Frankly, I'm all confuseded now.
If you change your mind on something, you're a hypocrite. If you tell someone else to do/think something you don't or haven't previously, you're a hypocrite. And of course, Christians are hypocrites more than the general population. (hope your hearing my sarcasm) Oh, and being a hypocrite is the worst thing one could end up being.
Have I got all the bases covered there?
How's a person supposed to feel about hypocrisy? And is a Christian supposed to ignore feeling like a hypocrite and chalk it up to spiritual growth? Or does that depend on what's making the Christian in question (say that 10x fast) feel like a hypocrite?
This just makes my head hurt.

Til next squeak,

File this under...

"People who probably shouldn't be famous but for some messed up reason...are."
What a file tab huh?
This post may offend readers, but probably not as much as Mr. P.'s post on the same topic. Although, if you're not easily offended by coarse language, it may give you a chuckle.
Let's have a little chat about famous people and how they got that way. Last night on TLC, the Duggar family's new series began. Mr. P. and I always have some pretty interesting conversations when it comes to 2 types of shows. Baby-related shows, and wife-swapping shows. So when I mentioned to him about clan Duggar's latest effort (take that how you will), he frothed at the mouth for a bit about how their fame is just as unwarranted as Paris Hilton's. And ironically, they're all famous for about the same reasons. Wait, Mr. P., surely you aren't equating this fine upstanding Christian family to a porno-filming, consequence-dodging, media whore? Oh yeah.
But his reasoning did make me think on this most of the night. What is it that makes people either love or hate the Duggars? Likewise, people either love or hate Paris. And really, how did these people get so famous?
With Paris, it doesn't take that much imagination to figure out the how's and why's of her fame. As Mr. P. put it, she got a record deal 'cause she knows how to blow. Not that that couldn't be said of other starlets, but let's try to stick to this particular piece of work. (BTW, anyone remember her stab at musical fame? Bwah. ~shudders~)
But then we have the Duggar family. I'll admit they are not the typical family, what with 17 kids and all. But, and this is a big but, they certainly are not the only large Quiverfull family out there. They're merely the one captured by the media most often. And if we're gonna go down that road, Mrs. Duggar doesn't even hold a childbirth record. So why the buzz over them? Is it the "J" names for the kids? Is it the throwback clothes and hair? Is it just shock and awe at the notion of a married couple never using birth control? Egads how irresponsible! I think it's a variety of those reasons. That, and people like to snoop in on others' lives. (After all, that's the meat and potatoes of reality tv. A chance to legally pry into someone else's life for an hour of so every week.)
I think I agree with Mr. P. to a point that the Duggars wouldn't have half of what they do if it weren't for their fame. Then again, their fame has also challenged people's notions of what a family is, should be, or could be. I know that it's been my friendships with QF mamas that has begun to change how I look at my own kids, and how I think of other people's families as well. I'm of a mind that a little tolerance goes a long way, and isn't a fresh outlook always a good thing?
So, maybe the truth is I'll be filing this all under "Things I haven't really figured out but will still blog about and hound Mr. P. about til that day I do clear the brain fog". Hey, that's even better tab! Let's go with that for now.

Til next squeak,

Happy Halloweeners!

Welcome to the Halloween edition of the Maze!

We're one of those Christian families that actually really enjoys Halloween. Even after a few years of watching the hard feelings and division it can cause amongst people of faith, it still kinda boggles my mind.
Anyway, I decided to have some fun with my little mousy friend as the holiday season nears. He's got his wittle punkin hat, and will be sporting a new look for each holiday.
Yes, I'm a dork and proud of it.
Thanks to www.scrapblog.com for making this all easy to do!

Til next squeak,

Voting Shmoting

Well, no friggin' surprise here at all to those who know me.

Should You Vote for Obama or McCain?


Your Issue Profile: 56% Obama, 44% McCain
Truth be told, you're not really satisfied with either of the candidates.You could vote for either of them. You are the typical coveted swing voter.
You may want to narrow yourself down to a particular set of issues in order to pick your president.Or start looking at third party candidates. One of them might suit you better.

Til next squeak,

I'll take religious hypocrisy for $500, Alex!

So, we went to church last night. Why oh why oh why? Seriously, sometimes I wonder why I go against my gut instincts and do some things. It almost always comes back to bite me.
Anyway, all of us, and I do mean all of us, loaded on up and headed on down for the Wednesday night services. It was only at the last minute that we realized it would be a guest speaker and not the regular pastor.

It ended up being this man, Cam Colombo. He was apparently there to do a multi-part series on gifts of the Spirit and healing. Now, let me say up front that both Mr. P. and I are not big believers in faith healing. Speaking purely for myself here, I won't say it's impossible, for nothing is impossible with Christ, but I think it's not probable in the setting of a "healer" pushing on people's foreheads in a church to have them become "slain in the Spirit". Again, just my personal take.
So, back to the service. Mom and my aunt were with us and Mom wanted to stay because she was hoping to learn about the gifts of the Spirit. In her own words, "I really don't know much about that junk.". I was prepared to explain some of the "finer points" of the various ways one could look at the gifts of the Spirit to her once the service was over. I was not prepared to find myself somewhat flabbergasted halfway through, nor to have my husband walk out.
I should probably confess right here before I go on that because of the worship team's insistence on playing background music, I didn't hear much of what this man had to say. Maybe he clarified his point after, I'm not sure. Regardless, it's pretty high on my not-cool-o-meter to hear stuff like this in church:
An example he used to illustrate a point was one of finding an acceptable marriage partner. Speaking to the men, he asked them if they would take a "filthy" wife. As he continued, it was clear he meant a woman of, shall we say, loose morals. Then he asked of the women, would we have taken "a man from the streets" as our husband. And as you can imagine, his hoped for response was a resounding NO!
Except for Mr. P. and I. We just looked at each other. Granted, we kinda laughed it off at first, but the more we thought of, the more offended we were.
You see, Mr. P. and I had started our relationship as a 1 night stand. And frankly, though I was "a filthy woman" and he "a man from the streets", we knew within just a few weeks that we loved each other very much. Almost 9 years later, here we still sit, committed to one another.
As Pastor Colombo continued, Mr. P. and I stewed in our own juices a bit longer. Shortly after, Mr. P. went outside, and not long after, I got the kids and we left. Maybe that was wrong, maybe that was rude, but that's how it went down.
Last night, I just couldn't help but ponder that whole analogy of his. I've heard stuff like that before from Christians likening a pure marriage to what Christ will find acceptable. Perhaps I'm being naive, but I often wonder what Bible they are reading. In mine, the overwhelming theme is one of Redemption. Redemption came to this world, hung on a cross and sacrificed all for each one of us. There are no strings attached, no ifs, ands, or buts. Redemption is available for all, regardless, and dare I say especially for those who seem filthy and stuck in all the world's bad places. I don't know, maybe it's just that I am still a very young Christian, but it saddens me that many forget that there are those of us who weren't raised in the church, who came to Christ in our adult years after many mistakes, but who I believe God still values as His children. I know oftentimes the church at large does not. It becomes apparent in the attitudes displayed when Christians believe they are speaking among their own. It's a different ball of wax than when ministering to the world, eh?
Alrighty, time to hop off my soapbox of religious hypocrisy. My man from the streets needs his filthy wife to wake him up for work.

Til next squeak,

A town without pity...

Or something like that. For some reason, my town is being blogged about. Yeah, weird stuff. And for some other strange reason, I'm tickled pink that a comment of mine actually got published! I'm starting to think I have too much free time on my hands these days. I guess it could be worse. I could be telling you guys all about the circus that was Mr. P.'s job up until a few days ago.
Hmmmm, maybe...

Til next squeak,

How come I didn't get a copy?

These days, I hear a lot about the so-called homosexual agenda. For those not in the know, I once identified myself as bisexual. I had girlfriends. I had boyfriends. I'm not ashamed.
Now though, I have come to realize that, at least for me, most of my earlier sexual escapades were a release of the pain I was going through at home growing up. I now call myself straight. Maybe a bit too straight for my own good at times, but hey, we all have our faults. (I smell another post coming out of that one)
We have family members and friends who identify as GBL. (gay, bi, lesbian) If I have ill will towards any of them, it's because of things that have happened, not who they've banged.
Because of all these things, I find it impossible to get on the bandwagon when those around speak of boycotts and agendas. I dunno, maybe I'm just not a very good Christian in that sense. Then again, I can't help but think that if Jesus were standing bodily among us, most wouldn't say half the things they do. After all, He promised not to abandon, and that no sin is too great to forgive. (yeah, yeah, I know, blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, but sexual activity *is not* that) So I really doubt He'd be any less inclined to embrace, forgive, disciple, and befriend "the gays" than He would any of us other sorry sinners.
Aside from that, each time I hear that phrase, my first thought is, "Why didn't I get a copy of our agenda? Waahhh!"


Til next squeak,

Link 'em up time

Ran across this today. Go check it out and see if you're not nodding along in agreement as you read. C'mon, I dare you!

Til next squeak,

Geese, ganders, and chastity belts

This Sunday in church, Mr. P. and I were put in a position where we were both quite uncomfortable. Thankfully, we both agreed on this topic without much discussion, but it still made for an awkward ten minutes or so.
There was a guest couple from Africa who were there and the wife believes it is her calling to promote abstinence. Now, for sure, where they come from HIV/AIDS is a major problem and one that abstinence would provide at least some degree of counter attack, if you will. Anywho, our pastor asked for all the parents of kids under age 18, all young women under age 35, and all young married couples to come to the altar so that this woman could pray over them for "the blessing of virginity and abstinence".
Ermmmmmm...
Mr. P. and I just looked at each other and shook our heads. I whispered to him that since we were still not sure where we stood on that particular topic we should not bring our sons up. He definitely agreed, and dashed out for a smoke. (just so you all know, he *did* later apologize for leaving me high and dry...)
Oh the dirty looks my mother shot me when she realized I wasn't bringing the kids up!!
The first thing you should understand, dear reader, is that MonkeyMan was 17 months old at the time Mr. P. made me his wife. So I personally do not feel comfortable telling my kids to keep their bits and pieces to themselves when their own parents could not.
Secondly, and I'm not sure how Mr. P. feels about this, but as a survivor of sexual assault, I understand all too well that virginity may not be something you ultimately have any control over. I don't think I'm comfortable raising my kids to believe they are worthless if they have sex before marriage, and then should one of them become assaulted. Just think of the additional trauma they would endure, believing they then had no worth to me, or to the Lord!
Third, I was not thrilled with the notion I got from this exercise at church that it is a girl's problem to keep her legs closed until marriage. Now, I may have been wrong, but that is the impression I got. I know Mr. P. agrees with me that what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Either promote abstinence to *all* your children or none of them.
Fourth, and I admit maybe this is because of my past, I really don't think sex is the big deal people of faith make it out to be. Granted, I've done a lot of things in my life that I'm not proud of. Oh, man! But willingly having sex before I met Mr. P., and with Mr. P. before we wed, is not one of them. I do not long to have been a virgin for him. And I know he does not long to have been a virgin for me. I have heard plenty of people say that unless you are a virgin, you won't have trust in your marriage. Unless you are a virgin, your marriage won't last. Simply not true folks. Let's not scare young kids like this just to satisfy some regret in the parents own past.
Back to church. I was literally the only mother sitting in the pews with her kids, while everyone else was up receiving prayer and anointing. And in a strange way, I feel good about it. I took a stand for *my* beliefs, no matter how off-putting they may be. And what's more, Mr. P. and I were on the same page, for the same reasons. It doesn't get much better than that.
Maybe one day we'll be less liberal. Maybe one day we'll fit in more with the church as a whole. But for now, we're glad to be in this together, raising our little ganders. And saving the chastity belt for any little goose that may come along. ;)

Til next squeak,