Still running for the cheese (or why this blog still exists)

As my regular readers can tell, this has been a dry year for me. Just look at the number of posts this year vs. 2008! Awhile back, I had considered either shutting down the Maze, or starting a new blog that would more accurately reflect where I am in life now. Truth be told, sometimes I come here, look around, and feel distinctly hypocrytical about the things I want to write. I'm sure I'm not the only one to ever be in that kind of place.
As the time in between posts has grown longer, I came to realize something. Without the past years' material, where I am now makes very little sense. What good is the destination without the journey? As Christians, so much of the best stuff that happens to us is in the times God is molding us to His image. To throw away the evidence of that process would somehow cheapen the result, I think.
So, here we are, dear friends. I think my little mousie may just have rounded a corner finally. Some things will change around here to reflect the changes in my heart. And you know what? That's ok. As much as I typically rage against anything changed in my life, I'm learning to accept the God-given ones. My prayer is that some of you may be encouraged by what you read here. Hey, you may even be challenged. And of course, if you know me, then you know you always stand a good chance of being offended too. Not intentionally, to be sure! Just know that what you find as you wander this Maze with me may surprise you as much as it does me.

All that to say this:

Welcome to

Monday, June 30, 2008

Monday Meme

Another week has gone by, although for me, it has been a weary one. How fitting that Cat has chosen to ponder some heavier stuff this week.

1) What is the single biggest sacrifice you can imagine asking a friend to make for you? As I'm feeling all poetic and that garbage, I'll quote some Scripture. John 15:13- Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. Having said that, I've already received the biggest sacrifice from my Best Friend, long before I ever knew I needed it.
2) If you were in need of emotional refuge, what would you do to find it? Typically, I either turn to Mr. P. or to God. Rarely am I unable to find strength in them. And when that happens? Well, I just remind myself that everything happens to fulfill His plans, and sometimes that means a walk through the valley before the mountain.
3) In what way are you most unique? Ermmm, my sharp wit? No wait, my love of lolcats! Nah Mr. P. is just as obsessed as I am. Maybe my conjoined toes? Nope, familial birth defect so Mom has 'em too. Darn it, I'm just not unique! :P
4) What is your favorite sound? I equally love the sounds of my kids greeting me in the morning, and the silence after they are in bed for the night. It's the feeling of a completed day, and the promise of a new one that I associate with those sounds.
5) Show and Tell. What comes to mind first when you see this picture? Or, tell a story if it reminds you of one.
It kinda makes me think of a field near our neighborhood where everyone goes kite flying in the spring, and then sledding in the winter. I doubt they'll ever develop that land because it's such a staple here.

Til next squeak,

Monday, June 23, 2008

Monday Meme

Ugh. Bright and early on a Monday morning, and here we go! It's meme time again! Thanks to Cat, I'll always have something to do when the kids wake me up complaining about thunderstorms on a Monday.

1) What is the worst thing you've ever said to your mother? Oh I've said some doozies! Most recently, let's go with calling her the big "C" this past spring. Yeah I think that does it.
2) If you could have avoided knowing about one thing during your life, what would it be, and why? I really don't know. Everything I have stored in my head has made me who I am. So I don't think I'd "unknow" anything. Then again, maybe I'd rather not want to know exactly want a "furry" is.
3) What is the strongest part of your marriage/partnership? Our commitment to each other. Well, I guess you could look st more like Mr. P. and I are too stubbornly bone-headed to admit defeat, but I look at it as unwavering commitment. Seriously though, no matter what we go through, or say to each other, we stay. I know we were made for each other. :)
4) What would your heaven be like? I've never really thought of this. I guess it'd be quiet, lots of trees and rivers, all the ones I love close by, and getting to talk face to face with the Lord without fear or condemnation. Yeah, that sounds pretty heavenly to me.
5) Show and Tell. What comes to mind first when you see this picture? Or, tell a story if it reminds you of one.
The only thing that pops into my mind is "Hey those buggers shoot their quills!". So not feeling porcupinely creative this morning.

Til next squeak,

Saturday, June 21, 2008

A town without pity...

Or something like that. For some reason, my town is being blogged about. Yeah, weird stuff. And for some other strange reason, I'm tickled pink that a comment of mine actually got published! I'm starting to think I have too much free time on my hands these days. I guess it could be worse. I could be telling you guys all about the circus that was Mr. P.'s job up until a few days ago.
Hmmmm, maybe...

Til next squeak,

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Choosing Right in a Fallen World

Normally when I blog, the title comes to me first. Typically, when I'm in the shower, after I've hollered at Smokey. (darn those inanimate objects!) By the time I've rinsed out the conditioner, most of the body of the post has formed in my mind, and I'm ready to blog.
Today though, I couldn't come up with my usual clever title. I have something on my mind I want to write about, but no title. Hmmm. It feels oh-so-strange to me, but here I am.
Because I'm a mother, I feel the burden of making the right choices, the *moral* choices. After all, little eyes are watching. However, most of the people around us don't bother to sense this burden, and my kidlets are not oblivious to this. And you know what? It's hard to come up with good answers to their questioning eyes sometimes. Lord knows I'm not prepared to have all the answers, or even a satisfactory one most times.
Case in point: Our building manager is constantly questioning why we have dirty laundry around most of the time when "everyone else doesn't". Uh, I can tell you why! We don't have a washer and dryer hidden in our unit like the majority of the people here. We've chosen not to break our lease. Now, trust me, it's not as though I'm coming from a place where I'm on a pedestal over this. It's more like I know we'd be the ones to get caught. Just like we were the ones who had to get rid of our cats when plenty of people here have cats or dogs.
Is it fair? Not especially. Is it life? Bet your bottom dollar. The real question is how do I explain to my children that not getting caught doesn't make a thing right, particularly when if I thought I could get away with it, I'd do it in a heartbeat?
Is it still "right" when you comply out of fear? Is it "right" when you comply out of pride? And is that what the Lord would have us do?
Ah, there's the rub for me. What would God want of me? I struggle with justifying my actions. I know God wants me to keep a clean house. I am, after all, a house wife. On the other hand, it would be just that much easier if I had that portable, yet lease-breaking, dishwasher. (washing dishes is the absolute bane of my existence!) So, God would want me to have that dishwasher, right? Right??
Yeah. Still waiting to hear from Him on that one. I think that falls under the category of "don't hold your breath honey". ;P
So, I'm still struggling with knowing how to choose "right" in our fallen world. I think most of us will at some point in our lives. It may be something as simple as washing a few dishes, or something major, like remaining faithful to your spouse. Who knows what things God will call us to "shine like stars in the universe" on? Hopefully, we won't let Him down when that time comes.

Til next squeak,

Monday, June 16, 2008

Monday Meme

Happy Monday!!

(yeah I'm feelin' it)
It's Meme time again, and even though Cat's stuck with a buncha teenagers, we still get to meme the day away. Gotta love Blogger's newest feature! (in case you aren't in the know, you can set up posts to publish at a later date)
1) Who is the best-dressed person you know? Heheheh, does it have to be someone I *personally* know? ;) Because if not, well, I think we all know my answer. Ahhh Neal...
2) What do you think the 11th Commandment should be? Thou shalt not vote Republican. There, I said it!
3) What was the biggest bridge you've ever burned? Any regrets? Normally I would've said, "When I left CMF, and yes, I regret it every day." However, God worked a miracle for me, and I not only am back there, but feel welcomed. So, this time, I can say that I have no bridges burnt that I regret.
4) What action or event has made you the most proud? Having my kids. Hands down the bestestest days of my life.
?5) Show and Tell. What comes to mind first when you see this picture? Or, tell a story if it reminds you of one.
Why do sports enthusiasts feel the need to cover themselves with paint? Seriously? I'll never understand that. ~smh~
On a memory kinda note, it makes me think of all the BEHS vs. BCHS football games I attended back in the day when I was in high school marching band. One in particular. Mr. P. knows the one I'm thinking of. ;)
Til next squeak,

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Monday Meme

Yes, I know it's Tuesday. No, I didn't bang my head again. After a day of running errands in the nasty heat wave that's hitting my little corner of the country, I opted to do nothing but lounge, nag, and then sleep once I got home. Plus, I knew if I did the Monday Meme yesterday, all I'd be able to type would be hot hothot hot hothothot, and it'd be a wasted post. Here's to hoping it's not sweltering where you are!

Cat always comes up with good ones, and today, ermm, yesterday was no exception. Let's meme!
1) In what movie is the most violent scene you've ever seen? Hmmm, Mr. P. and I recently saw Shoot 'Em Up. Great flick, pretty violent all around. Then there's 300. Another good and violent movie. Come to think of it, I actually like violent movies. Junk food and violence. Mmmm there's a date night.
2) Of all the people you know, who would make the most successful TV evangelist? My son Tank. Kid's not quite 5 but he could win anyone to the Lord, and probably make some loot at the same time. He's funny, cute, seriously sarcastic (already!), and yet he can really surprise you with sweetness. He has a thirst to know about God and why some people don't know about Him yet. Amazes me every day.
3) Who is the person who most deserves to be rewarded for something? Since I'm feeling kinda guiltastic right now, I'm nominating Mr. P. While I was gone in the broiler that is known as New England yesterday, he not only watched the kids, but had them finger paint while he cleaned the kitchen and did the dishes for me. What did the poor man get for his troubles? A bitchy wife. Yeah, give that guy a golden plaque or something!
4) When was the last time you cried and why? I bawled like a baby over the season finale of House. Does that count? ;P
5) Show and Tell. What comes to mind first when you see this picture? Or, tell a story if it reminds you of one.

It makes me think of Old Sturbridge Village. I loved going there as a kid, and am greatly looking forward to taking my own one day. It sounds kinda dorky, but I'll always remember my mom bringing us there, and getting to dig up my own carrots while kickin' it 19th century style. Ah good times, good times.

Til next squeak,

Friday, June 6, 2008

Yelling at inanimate objects doesn't make you crazy...'s waiting for the response that does!
I've come to the conclusion that I hate smoke detectors. Especially ill-placed ones in hallways. Like ones right outside bathrooms. Yeah, those ones.
In my apartment, I can't close the bathroom door. Either the kids are banging on it, yelling to find out what exactly is Mom doing in there, or I find myself feeling a tad claustrophobic. So I gave up. Each day, I take a fairly hot shower. I always put that pointless fan thingy on. And each day, the battle begins.
"Ah for cryin' out loud! I just got the shampoo in!"
"Just cram it, will ya?!"
~silence from the Enemy~
"Alright already, I'm rinsing! You hear me? I'M RINSING!"
I step out of the shower, grab my towel, and all seems right...

Each day, this scene plays out. Every great character has a nemesis.
Bugs has Elmer.
Tom has Jerry.
KND has "adult tyranny".
Perry the Platypus has Dr. Doofenschmirtz.
And now I have "The Detector".

Til next squeak,

Monday, June 2, 2008

Monday Meme

Yay! First Monday Meme on the new layout! ~golf claps~ Thanks again to Cat, purr-veyor of all things ponderable.

1) When you were a child, was there something you looked forward to doing when you grew up? What is it, and have you done it? Moving the hell out? Yeah that sounds about right. I more or less only wanted to live to see adulthood. So, mission accomplished. Game on!

2) If you had a guardian angel, what would you name it? Bosco. Everyone loves a Bosco. How can you not? He's just so...Bosco.

3) What have you done in the past week to help someone else? Hmmm hard one. I'd say praying for the people that randomly cross my mind. Not just thinking, "Oh I should pray for so-and-so." but actually doing it.

4) If you were reincarnated, what would be the worst thing you can think of to come back as? Any form of bug. Ick. Think about it. Short life span, and plenty of haters. Ick.

5) Show and Tell. What comes to mind first when you see this picture? Or, tell a story if it reminds you of one.
"E-G-G-S? Hey what college is that?"
When I first met Mr. P., we were hanging around outside the gas station he worked at. I saw a huge box back by the trash area that read E-G-G-S. So, I blurted out the above comment. Yeah. It was late. I haven't lived that down to this day. Thanks Mr. P. :P

Til next squeak,

Coconut Oil! Not just for the bedroom anymore!

If there's 2 words that I can't help but giggle at these days, it's coconut oil. (don't ask...long story) Well, those 2 and "Iz Caturday", but I'm weird.
Over Capt Crunch Berries cereal with the kiddos this morning, I was zoning out. I glanced at the clock, the wall, the microwave, the dancing pink elephants...oh wait, that was something else. Anyway, upon glancing at the box, I noticed that coconut oil was the 5th ingredient down.
Well whaddaya know?
Coconut oil...not just for the bedroom anymore!

Til next squeak,

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Hormones, husbands, and the Holy Spirit

I was the little girl who swore she'd never have kids. There were many reasons for that, including selfishness, pride, self-doubt, and my own parents' failures. Obviously, things didn't turn out that way. Thank God for that!
Even though I am the mother of 2, until fairly recently, I also swore I'd never have any more than just my 2. Last year became a trying time for me, emotionally and spiritually. After a lot of searching, praying, and work of the Holy Spirit, I'm a much different woman in many ways. I'm also a much different mother, or at least I'd like to think so.
One thing I'm now dealing with is that for the first time in my life, I have baby fever. My kiddos are growing up so fast, and don't need my care quite so much anymore. Mostly though, God has shown me what a true blessing family, particularly a larger than average family, really can be. He has done some mighty works in mine in recent months. I find myself longing to add another sweet little child to this home. When the boys and I pray over dinner, I can't help but imagine what it'd be like to hear another small voice joined with us in a few years time. Or when I'm out running errands, daydreaming what it would be like to have a baby with us as well.
Now Mr. P., not so much. Right now, he's mired in a lot of stress with his job, and with life in general. He does not want another child. I'm not sure if it's a "just for now" thing, or more of a "we're done" thing. He knows my heart, but also knows that I take my role as his wife seriously enough that I will abide by his wishes. Having said that, we still aren't using hormonal birth control, nor are really being as "careful" as he'd like. I practice natural family planning, and I guess that's where God will have His will be done for now.
I finally understand the hurt many women go through when their husbands say "No more babies". I never got that before. I admit that I always used to think they were just being whiny. Why not just be satisfied with what you've got? While I still don't understand the drive to be pregnant, per se, I now can sympathize. Personally, I've never liked being pregnant, but I love being a mother. Especially the stage my kids are at now. They just crack me up every day, and challenge me to see the world in a different light. I think that's why I want so badly to have a few more kids. Not so much for the pregnancy, or the baby stages, but for the fresh perspective on life, and the new joy given to me each day. What a gift to this wounded heart! I just hope and pray Mr. P. will let the Holy Spirit work on his heart as well.

Til next squeak,

Blog Design by Split Decisionz