Still running for the cheese (or why this blog still exists)

As my regular readers can tell, this has been a dry year for me. Just look at the number of posts this year vs. 2008! Awhile back, I had considered either shutting down the Maze, or starting a new blog that would more accurately reflect where I am in life now. Truth be told, sometimes I come here, look around, and feel distinctly hypocrytical about the things I want to write. I'm sure I'm not the only one to ever be in that kind of place.
As the time in between posts has grown longer, I came to realize something. Without the past years' material, where I am now makes very little sense. What good is the destination without the journey? As Christians, so much of the best stuff that happens to us is in the times God is molding us to His image. To throw away the evidence of that process would somehow cheapen the result, I think.
So, here we are, dear friends. I think my little mousie may just have rounded a corner finally. Some things will change around here to reflect the changes in my heart. And you know what? That's ok. As much as I typically rage against anything changed in my life, I'm learning to accept the God-given ones. My prayer is that some of you may be encouraged by what you read here. Hey, you may even be challenged. And of course, if you know me, then you know you always stand a good chance of being offended too. Not intentionally, to be sure! Just know that what you find as you wander this Maze with me may surprise you as much as it does me.

All that to say this:

Welcome to

Sunday, January 18, 2009

A call in the night

I don't know about others, but I've always dreaded this scenario. The phone rings in the dead of the night. The tears, the sirens, and the words:
"There was a fire..."
Well, that was my reality tonight. Sobbing
My mother called just after 10pm with those very words. And as much as I don't get along with my younger brother, my heart dropped into my stomach just then. Oh Lord. Did my brother make it out? What exactly happened?
They both got out, although the rear of the building was engulfed in flames. My next thought, cat lover that I am, was for their 3 kittehs. My mother informed me that only 2 of them were saved.
God in Heaven above, I know that's not a reason for tears, but I wept. Hysterically. Praising God for keeping my family alive, and yet grieving for what their reality would soon become. I knew it hadn't hit them yet.
Mom asked me to call the Red Cross and find out what I could. Meanwhile, I asked my friends and sisters in Christ for prayer. Silly as it may seem, God indeed hears even our smallest prayers.
Shortly thereafter, Mom called back. A fireman found my brother's cat Guiness. She was alive!
God heard our call in the night.

Til next squeak,

Thursday, January 15, 2009

A second guess

I've been debating with myself over talking about this. I'm forever second guessing myself. So, I'll take the plunge, and what will be will be.

This past week, I had a word from God. That word was quite distinct. God told me to MOVE! Ah, but not move in the way I want to. Oh no. Shock 3
I prayed about it. I asked my friends their opinions and for their prayers. I asked Mr. P. and whined to him over it. In the end, God won. Isn't that often how it goes?
And what on earth caused me so much turmoil you ask? Ahhh there's the rub.
I started school this week. No, not college, as most people my age mean when they say they are going back to school. I am going for my GED.
Yuppers, I never graduated from high school. In fact, I dropped out twice!
This is probably one of the more nauseating, stress-inducing, ripping my hair out, crying out at night kinda things I've done in a long time.
Then again, I am forever second guessing myself, so maybe I'll adjust to this all a little closer to the actual test date.

Til next squeak,

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Brown chicken, brown cow.

Read the post title aloud. Now say it again. A little faster. Ok, just one more time.

Now think about this:
That's one kinky barnyard!

That is all. Rooster Cow 3

Til next squeak,

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Final results

I'm weird and just thought I'd share how my carpal tunnel surgery turned out in the end.

Here's a pic from yesterday, 36 days post-op:

All healed, and fully functional. Hmmm. That sounds like something that Bobbit fella would've said, huh? Doh.

Til next squeak,

Monday, January 5, 2009

Monday Meme

Yay! The first meme of the new year! Thanks Cat!

1) What is the cause that you believe is the most worthy of all those available? I swear, if there were an "Eliminate stupidity from the general human population" ribbon, I'd wear it proudly. Why oh why Lord, did You see fit to give this earth so many morons?
2) What problem is the most common among people your age? See above answer. Falling Off Chair Laughing
3) Who do you feel is the most underappreciated actor (male or female) in the history of Hollywood? I have no idea. Perhaps Hollywood gets too much appreciation as it is. After all, look how much $$$ those guys and gals make compared to our everyday heroes. Now that's under appreciation.
4) Show and Tell. What comes to mind first when you see this picture? Or, tell a story if it reminds you of one.
Ok I admit that I need new glasses. I saw this and thought, "Hmmm. Reminds me of the rocks near the Coppermine Brook by our place." Alas, according to the tag when you save it, it's dishes. Doh. Time to call my opto...bah, the eye doc.

Til next squeak,

Sunday, January 4, 2009

A complex complex

I've been told I have an inferiority complex. Yeah, no kidding. Shy Whistler

So, having recently joined Facebook, that dubious joy of a site that allows you to find more people than you ever thought you'd lost track of, that ol' "gosh I'm a loser" blues really set in.
Honestly though, after finding an abundance of people (some I got along with, others I didn't, a few I hated) and seeing how successful they are, or how much they've changed, it's hard to not feel like a tool.
After all, I still live here in town. Actually, I live 2 blocks from where I grew up. I don't have any nifty careers to report. In fact, I don't work at all. I've got that distinct combo of letters attached to me that seems to others like an infectious disease- SAHM. I married a man who went to the rival high school. We met at a gas station. Nothing wildly fascinating to report there. We have 2 sons, and they currently attend the elementary school that I went to long ago. Being the low-brow, low-income shmucks we are, of course I'm hoping for more kids. We live a very simple life.
So last night, I went to bed feeling out of sorts. The boys were at my ILs for the weekend, and Mr. P. and I had a quiet night at home. Typically, I would add that kinda night is just how I like it. But today? Today I wonder how much is lacking in me.
Anyway, I've never been the sort to believe in things like prophetic dreams or the like, but I do think God talks to us whenever He can. If that happens to be our dreams (because we're too worked up and boneheaded during our waking hours to hear Him), so be it. Last night, God gave me a lesson in contentment.
We've all seen Back to the Future, right? Any geek will tell you, time travel is dangerous stuff. Change the past and you risk changing the present. But would you really want to change things? Seriously. Think about that for a sec. And remember the phrase, "The grass is always greener on the other side."
I dreamt last night that both Mr. P. and I had a chance to go back to our late high school days, and get a do-over. And not just like in a sci-fi book. We both knew and remembered each other, the life we shared, our kids, everything. Powerful stuff, let me tell you. Next thing I knew, there I was, in my old high school. Disturbing to say the least. All the people I had been grousing about, right there all over again. And yet, so much was missing. I was 15 again, but my heart ached for my husband. When could I go back home to our kids? What about all the things we needed to get done in the next few days? And then it hit me. Maybe Mr. P. wasn't feeling the same longing I was. Maybe he was deciding to take a different path.
Sitting through high school classes in a dream world. Meh. I never liked it the first time through in real life. Then lunch came. I tried to talk to my friends about what was going on. They asked if I needed to go to the nurses office and lay down for awhile. After classes were over, heading out to the bus, I stepped out instead to bright light.
And then I woke up.
Thank God. Faint
When the Lord wants your attention, He'll get it, make no mistake about that.
While I was downstairs making my coffee and toast, I had time to enjoy the silence of the morning. Thinking about that wildly disturbing dream, I realized that although my life may not be what anyone around us wanted for us, it's all I could hope for. My kids are here and healthy. My husband and I have a great marriage. Yes, we may have a simple life, but it's more than enough for us. God gave us to each other, and gave this life to us for His purposes and for our blessing. While I may from time to time feel inferior in comparison to my contemporaries, I can rest in the knowledge that God doesn't look at us as "less than". He chose to give us so much "more than" either Mr. P. or I ever dreamed.
Take that, complex!

Til next squeak,

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