Still running for the cheese (or why this blog still exists)

As my regular readers can tell, this has been a dry year for me. Just look at the number of posts this year vs. 2008! Awhile back, I had considered either shutting down the Maze, or starting a new blog that would more accurately reflect where I am in life now. Truth be told, sometimes I come here, look around, and feel distinctly hypocrytical about the things I want to write. I'm sure I'm not the only one to ever be in that kind of place.
As the time in between posts has grown longer, I came to realize something. Without the past years' material, where I am now makes very little sense. What good is the destination without the journey? As Christians, so much of the best stuff that happens to us is in the times God is molding us to His image. To throw away the evidence of that process would somehow cheapen the result, I think.
So, here we are, dear friends. I think my little mousie may just have rounded a corner finally. Some things will change around here to reflect the changes in my heart. And you know what? That's ok. As much as I typically rage against anything changed in my life, I'm learning to accept the God-given ones. My prayer is that some of you may be encouraged by what you read here. Hey, you may even be challenged. And of course, if you know me, then you know you always stand a good chance of being offended too. Not intentionally, to be sure! Just know that what you find as you wander this Maze with me may surprise you as much as it does me.

All that to say this:

Welcome to

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The unexpected places

Sometimes, it not only takes me by surprise, but amazes me entirely the way God can speak to our hearts.
In the last 5 months or so, I've been battling depression...again. In my life, I've been in treatment 4+ years for various mental disorders. And a few years ago, I thought, by the grace of God, I'd had it licked.
Guess I was wrong.
As I sunk lower into myself and the hurts I've been feeling, I drifted farther away from my Lord and Savior. Oftentimes, I felt as though I've been talking to brick wall when it came to my prayers and times of seeking His face. Where was He when my heart was breaking? Didn't He always promise to be with us every step of the way? Why are all these things happening to me? Did I screw up big time, or is there a meaning to all this?
While those questions still plague me, God found me today. Or rather, I found Him in a very unexpected place.
Earlier, I wrote an email to a dear sister in Christ. And while I was sharing my heart with her, our Lord shared His with me.
I don't know how many of you were taught to swim by being tossed unceremoniously into the pool by your dad. Lord knows I was! Picture for a moment, the small child being scooped up into her daddy's safe embrace. As he walks towards the cool blue waters, she feels no fear. But then, all that is gone in an instant. She finds herself sinking fast, wondering why her loving father would toss her away, sinking into deeper waters than she could handle.
As she flounders in the pool, kicking with all her might, her father looks on, knowing just when he should intervene.
One moment she's terrified, darkness closing in around her. The next, she feels her daddy's strong arms around her, pulling her to safety.
You know, I think God is like that too, except with deeper knowledge of pool safety. Wink
Deep water faith in the shallow end. That's how most of us live our lives of faith. Confident we can handle what comes our way because, after all, our heads are way above water. And one day, our Father scoops us up for that walk to deeper waters. He knows we can not only survive it, but grow to be stronger swimmers from some time in the deep end of the pool. And with a heart stopping plunge, we find ourselves in a sink-or-swim situation. I'll be the first to admit that the struggle for the surface can be harrowing. However, once we can clear the water from our ears, we can be sure to hear His voice.
"Did you know you could do that, My darling child? Know that I'm always watching over you as test out these deeper waters. Under My watchful eye, you'll grow to be comfortable and confident in the pool. And should you need Me, I'm right here to pull you out."
Yes, God can find us in some unexpected places. Be it poolside or simply in front of our inbox.

Til next squeak,

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