Still running for the cheese (or why this blog still exists)

As my regular readers can tell, this has been a dry year for me. Just look at the number of posts this year vs. 2008! Awhile back, I had considered either shutting down the Maze, or starting a new blog that would more accurately reflect where I am in life now. Truth be told, sometimes I come here, look around, and feel distinctly hypocrytical about the things I want to write. I'm sure I'm not the only one to ever be in that kind of place.
As the time in between posts has grown longer, I came to realize something. Without the past years' material, where I am now makes very little sense. What good is the destination without the journey? As Christians, so much of the best stuff that happens to us is in the times God is molding us to His image. To throw away the evidence of that process would somehow cheapen the result, I think.
So, here we are, dear friends. I think my little mousie may just have rounded a corner finally. Some things will change around here to reflect the changes in my heart. And you know what? That's ok. As much as I typically rage against anything changed in my life, I'm learning to accept the God-given ones. My prayer is that some of you may be encouraged by what you read here. Hey, you may even be challenged. And of course, if you know me, then you know you always stand a good chance of being offended too. Not intentionally, to be sure! Just know that what you find as you wander this Maze with me may surprise you as much as it does me.

All that to say this:

Welcome to

Friday, August 7, 2009

Top 10 Summer Moments

My regular readers will notice a new label that this post falls under. Today I joined a friend's message board and she has a whole section just for us bloggers! Roll Now how cool is that?
So, this week's assignment is the top ten of summer. Here goes nothing!
1) I finally finished a real knitted project. Not a potholder. Not a test square. A real handwarmer. In soft army green wool. With ribbing! Squeeee!
2) Going to Red Robin with my sisters-in-law. Adult conversation without my kids spilling ketchup on my sleeve was awesome.
3) Hanging out with my long time friend Anna yesterday. God knew I was in need of a friend who understood me beyond just "teh intertubes", and her timing was perfect. Gossip and catching up over burgers is always a wonderful thing.
4) Seeing Disney/Pixar's UP with the kids. Summer movie madness baby.
5) Just hanging out with my boys each day. It's been refreshing to take it slow for awhile after the rush of the school year.
6) Housewarming party at my SIL's place. All family, and no fighting. How perfect is that?
7) Kid-free week with my devoted hubby. Just to spend time together has really recharged my batteries.
8) Getting off the TTC roller coaster. Yeah, sounds kinda strange, but emotionally, I'm so much stronger now that I'm putting God back where He belongs. I think having my boys home from school really let me see just how blessed I am and took away so much of the sting of infertility.
9) Finding out my high blood pressure is gone. Now that's a great moment no matter what time of year it happened!
10) Planning for the start of school. We're all excited about the new school year, and all the possibility that comes with it.

Til next squeak,

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Swimming upstream

I'm a mother. I'm a Christian. I'm praying my 2 sons will grow to be strong in Christ. Frankly, I think any mom who is in Him would have that as a priority. Unfortunately, these days there's a battle brewing. It's a Mommy War out there.
Mainstream vs. AP. Crunchy vs. soggy. Vaccinations vs. non-vaxxers. Breast vs. bottle. Cloth vs. disposable. Public school vs. private school vs. homeschool. Young moms vs. older moms. Moms of young kids vs. moms of older kids. Moms of 1 kid vs. moms of many. God help us all, it never ends. Any parenting issue you can think of, women can fight over it. Think lunchtime is a total non-issue? Guess again. My blue boxed mac and cheese vs. her homemade, all natural, organic, whole grain mac and vegan cheese substitute. Stop The Insanity
Believe me, I wish I was joking. We moms pay lip service to the whole "as long as they're loved and cared for, that's all that matters" notion. The truth is that if we're not getting in each others' faces about any issue under the sun, we're talking smack about each other in the strangest of ways. Facebook anyone?
These days it confounds me even more that Christian mothers seem to take these battles to a higher level. I suppose that's natural though. Whenever one thinks God is on their side, cockiness is bound to happen. After all, if God is for me, He certainly can't be for you. Toungue Out
If we're supposed to be a Body, functioning as one...
If we're supposed to help each other grow in Him, not cause a sister to stumble and sin...
If we're supposed to love each other as He loves us...
why do I have the sinking suspicion that we are failing on an epic scale?
And as for all the Spy vs. Spy nonsense, let's step back a moment and ask ourselves a few questions. Will my child one day hate me if I did not breastfeed him? Will my child one day thank me for not putting him in cloth diapers? Will my child one day express regret that I vaccinated him? Will my child one day tell me that I thoroughly humiliated him by pushing him in a stroller when he could've been le chic enfant in a Babyhawk? Honestly, I sure hope no one has these kind of conversation starters come from their kids. My sons are 8 and 6 years old. Not once has my 8 year old told me he wished he'd been breastfed instead of bottlefed. Never once has my 6 year old told me he felt neglected because he rode in a double stroller with his brother when we ran errands back in the day.
What my kids do tell me is that they love me. What I tell them is that I love them more than they can imagine, and that Jesus loves them more than I ever could. When I look into their eyes, I don't see all the ways I've screwed up (and if you're a regular reader, you know it's quite a bit) in their young lives. I see all the potential they have before them, all the grace God has bestowed upon us, and all the joyful years we have ahead of us.
I'm just one little fish in the pond full of different moms with different parenting styles. Lately though, I feel like I've been swimming upstream.

Til next squeak,

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Because of Him

So, if you'll glance up at my profile picture, you'll see that I'm fat. That's fat with a "f" not a "ph". There's a difference you know! (a cookie if you get that reference!)
In the last 2 years, I had been diagnosed with high blood pressure. Back in February, we had a change of insurance, which also meant a change of doctors. Thumbs Down Never my favorite thing. I put it off for months, even after my hbp and migraine medications ran out. 2 weeks ago, I got Mr. P. and I in to see a new doctor.
I was fully prepared to hear about the weight issue. Frankly, I cannot go anywhere medically related without it coming up, even when it's really not pertinent. However, I was not prepared for my blood pressure to have normalized! Raise The Roof 1 Let me tell you, that's a miracle straight from God right there!
Both Mr. P. and I had a round of bloodwork done. The results were not exactly great for either of us. My cholesterol was 204. They want it under 200. Egads. I'm honestly embarrassed by it. Prior to this year, I've always tried to be careful about what I eat, if not necessarily how much I eat. Other than that though, my workup was pretty good.
Mr. P. has to go for further tests. For reasons we do not yet know, his liver isn't functioning as it should. He is also pre-diabetic.
I think for us both, this is a wake up call. And personally, I think God is trying to tell us something. If our bodies are His temple, well, He's probably tired of such sub par environments.
Mr. P. and I have both decided to try to make the changes we need to in order to get our own health straightened out, and to be a good example for our children. Perhaps this is why we have yet to conceive. Maybe we needed to work out more important things first.
For those of you reading this and feel so led, please pray for us as we try to live a healthy life style. This is all new territory for us. A friend recently told me that she didn't have true success in changing her health habits until she relied on God. I'm praying God will give us the strength as well.

Til next squeak,

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