I'm not a very good liberal. Honestly. Then again, I don't think I have it in me to be a conservative. So, where does one go from here?
I've got that old sinking feeling that God's about to boot me in the behind to a new level of...something. Exactly what I don't know, but the feeling is there.
It's been on my heart for awhile now that perhaps some of the things we've been going through as a family and on a personal level have been due to my not-conservative-ness. So often you hear that God wants His people to be xyz because the Bible says abc and of course this means you should think/feel/believe 123. Gah. It's enough to make one want to rip their hair out in frustration.
The question then becomes one of belief vs. fake-itude. (love my word-makeitup-ness? I know I do) If God truly wants His flock to genuinely believe xyz, then is it acceptable to "fake it til ya make it"? How does one change a belief? Is it even possible?
Do you just research the issues? Or just read your Bible? Do you just say "God says this, so I believe this", even if you don't feel it in your heart?
Mmmm, that taste in your throat yet? Perhaps it's your own version of that slightly sinking feeling.
Til next squeak,

2 Squeaks from the Maze:
I search the scriptures regarding the issue... and then I pray and whine to God about how my understanding is that HIS opinion is abc but that I really don't get that. I ask... beg... Him to please give me something to hold on to if he indeed wants me to hold such an opinion. And I tell Him (and mean it) that I am committed to believing the truth.
Food for thought - I'm sure most of us get the agony over the potential of living with fake-itude... but, are you that convinced that God won't reveal something to you if you jump in with both feet? Are you that sure of your own understanding? Or is there prehaps some pride mingled in there disallowing you from trusting Him with all your heart? If you were to jump, would you feel sheepish when He catches you. Because if by chance you have things totally wrong and thus the fake-itude gets drawn-out, then my bet is that you simply could not function like that indefinitely - and I don't believe God wants that from us.
All this just comes from my personal experience of God never once leaving me regretting making any sort of personal or heart change for His Name's sake. I don't know that God calls us to fake-itude so much as he calls us to deliberately set aside our own talking-points just long enough to let his sink in. It's that whole thing of losing your life for his sake and consequently finding it.
And the real exciting part - I could have written "God's about to boot me in the behind to a new level of... something." I've pretty much said just that to my husband multiple times in different ways recently. I feel something coming... it's just been up to me to get onboard. HE IS WORKING.
I don't listen to what other people say God's people should do. I read the bible and do what the bible tells me to do.
Sure, churches will say "Gods people vote republican" and "Gods people are pro oil" but.. the bible doesn't say that at all. Sadly, God didn't write in the bible "You shall vote anti-gay marriage and pro-life in the 2008 elections!"
Is God against those things, probably yes. But does it mean we have to vote against them in a totally secular state? I dunno.
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