Still running for the cheese (or why this blog still exists)

As my regular readers can tell, this has been a dry year for me. Just look at the number of posts this year vs. 2008! Awhile back, I had considered either shutting down the Maze, or starting a new blog that would more accurately reflect where I am in life now. Truth be told, sometimes I come here, look around, and feel distinctly hypocrytical about the things I want to write. I'm sure I'm not the only one to ever be in that kind of place.
As the time in between posts has grown longer, I came to realize something. Without the past years' material, where I am now makes very little sense. What good is the destination without the journey? As Christians, so much of the best stuff that happens to us is in the times God is molding us to His image. To throw away the evidence of that process would somehow cheapen the result, I think.
So, here we are, dear friends. I think my little mousie may just have rounded a corner finally. Some things will change around here to reflect the changes in my heart. And you know what? That's ok. As much as I typically rage against anything changed in my life, I'm learning to accept the God-given ones. My prayer is that some of you may be encouraged by what you read here. Hey, you may even be challenged. And of course, if you know me, then you know you always stand a good chance of being offended too. Not intentionally, to be sure! Just know that what you find as you wander this Maze with me may surprise you as much as it does me.

All that to say this:

Welcome to

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Geese, ganders, and chastity belts

This Sunday in church, Mr. P. and I were put in a position where we were both quite uncomfortable. Thankfully, we both agreed on this topic without much discussion, but it still made for an awkward ten minutes or so.
There was a guest couple from Africa who were there and the wife believes it is her calling to promote abstinence. Now, for sure, where they come from HIV/AIDS is a major problem and one that abstinence would provide at least some degree of counter attack, if you will. Anywho, our pastor asked for all the parents of kids under age 18, all young women under age 35, and all young married couples to come to the altar so that this woman could pray over them for "the blessing of virginity and abstinence".
Mr. P. and I just looked at each other and shook our heads. I whispered to him that since we were still not sure where we stood on that particular topic we should not bring our sons up. He definitely agreed, and dashed out for a smoke. (just so you all know, he *did* later apologize for leaving me high and dry...)
Oh the dirty looks my mother shot me when she realized I wasn't bringing the kids up!!
The first thing you should understand, dear reader, is that MonkeyMan was 17 months old at the time Mr. P. made me his wife. So I personally do not feel comfortable telling my kids to keep their bits and pieces to themselves when their own parents could not.
Secondly, and I'm not sure how Mr. P. feels about this, but as a survivor of sexual assault, I understand all too well that virginity may not be something you ultimately have any control over. I don't think I'm comfortable raising my kids to believe they are worthless if they have sex before marriage, and then should one of them become assaulted. Just think of the additional trauma they would endure, believing they then had no worth to me, or to the Lord!
Third, I was not thrilled with the notion I got from this exercise at church that it is a girl's problem to keep her legs closed until marriage. Now, I may have been wrong, but that is the impression I got. I know Mr. P. agrees with me that what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Either promote abstinence to *all* your children or none of them.
Fourth, and I admit maybe this is because of my past, I really don't think sex is the big deal people of faith make it out to be. Granted, I've done a lot of things in my life that I'm not proud of. Oh, man! But willingly having sex before I met Mr. P., and with Mr. P. before we wed, is not one of them. I do not long to have been a virgin for him. And I know he does not long to have been a virgin for me. I have heard plenty of people say that unless you are a virgin, you won't have trust in your marriage. Unless you are a virgin, your marriage won't last. Simply not true folks. Let's not scare young kids like this just to satisfy some regret in the parents own past.
Back to church. I was literally the only mother sitting in the pews with her kids, while everyone else was up receiving prayer and anointing. And in a strange way, I feel good about it. I took a stand for *my* beliefs, no matter how off-putting they may be. And what's more, Mr. P. and I were on the same page, for the same reasons. It doesn't get much better than that.
Maybe one day we'll be less liberal. Maybe one day we'll fit in more with the church as a whole. But for now, we're glad to be in this together, raising our little ganders. And saving the chastity belt for any little goose that may come along. ;)

Til next squeak,

2 Squeaks from the Maze:

Cat. said...

Pardon me for saying this...but (trying to be tactful), I can't.... Have you checked out any other churches??

Speaking as a "perfect" mother (ahem, stop laughing) with the "perfect storybook childhood" who followed the "perfect" path to marriage...I'm appalled. For all the reasons you've listed and so many more, this is inappropriate. However, like you, I understand where the speaker was coming from. Literally and metaphorically.

Props to you for refusing to bow to immense peer pressure. I'm not sure I could've done it.

Mrs. P. said...

Thanks for the props! :D
I was preparing for chucked tomatoes frankly.
The thing is, outside of that incident, we love our church. They are not normally like that which is another reason why Mr. P. and I were taken aback. We've never been made to feel unwelcome or uncomfortable, even though we do tend to stick out like sore thumbs. (Mr. P. with his dyed red faux-hawk and tattoo and all. LOL)
I guess part of figuring out who we are is also figuring out where we need to stand firm. Now where'd I stash those chastity belt keys??? ;)

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