Still running for the cheese (or why this blog still exists)

As my regular readers can tell, this has been a dry year for me. Just look at the number of posts this year vs. 2008! Awhile back, I had considered either shutting down the Maze, or starting a new blog that would more accurately reflect where I am in life now. Truth be told, sometimes I come here, look around, and feel distinctly hypocrytical about the things I want to write. I'm sure I'm not the only one to ever be in that kind of place.
As the time in between posts has grown longer, I came to realize something. Without the past years' material, where I am now makes very little sense. What good is the destination without the journey? As Christians, so much of the best stuff that happens to us is in the times God is molding us to His image. To throw away the evidence of that process would somehow cheapen the result, I think.
So, here we are, dear friends. I think my little mousie may just have rounded a corner finally. Some things will change around here to reflect the changes in my heart. And you know what? That's ok. As much as I typically rage against anything changed in my life, I'm learning to accept the God-given ones. My prayer is that some of you may be encouraged by what you read here. Hey, you may even be challenged. And of course, if you know me, then you know you always stand a good chance of being offended too. Not intentionally, to be sure! Just know that what you find as you wander this Maze with me may surprise you as much as it does me.

All that to say this:


Welcome to



Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Mired.

Well, I'm stuck. My brain feels like goo most days, and although I participate (or at least lurk amongst) many fantastic intellectual conversations online (mostly Facebook), the idea of blogging about, well, anything beyond the random family update confounds me. Maybe it's the summer heat (91 today in Connecticut). Maybe it's still adjusting to life with 3 kids. Or maybe I'm just too dumb to continue acting as though I am not. *shrugs*
I'm kicking around the idea of starting a new blog. Not abandoning this one per se. Just a change of pace. I often wonder if anyone still comes here and reads this blog. Now that I have either been banned from or simply left 99% of the message boards I once frequented, I doubt word gets out about what few new posts I make anymore. I tell myself I'm ok with that. I'm in a new phase of life. Perhaps this is God calling me to more "IRL" friendships? That is admittedly a terrifying prospect.
Since April of this year, I've felt as though I've lost my moorings. I've never once felt as though I fit in anywhere, and much like my 4th and 3rd grade aged sons, that hurts my feelings. I think that deep down, everyone wants to belong. Even those who stridently claim "I'm confident in who I am and I don't need anyone!". I just can't believe I'm 30 years old and still haven't found my way.
So, yeah. If you're reading this, thank you. We'll see where this new path takes us, yes?

Til next squeak,



2 Squeaks from the Maze:

Cat. said...

Hey there. I still read you here. You're in my prayers regularly. I hope that doesn't freak you out, but I do hope you know that most moms feel mired in goo at times. My son's 18, and there are still days.... ;-)

Mrs. P said...

Aww Cat, that doesn't freak me out; it warms my heart! You ave no idea how much I needed a little cheering up today. :)

 
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