Still running for the cheese (or why this blog still exists)

As my regular readers can tell, this has been a dry year for me. Just look at the number of posts this year vs. 2008! Awhile back, I had considered either shutting down the Maze, or starting a new blog that would more accurately reflect where I am in life now. Truth be told, sometimes I come here, look around, and feel distinctly hypocrytical about the things I want to write. I'm sure I'm not the only one to ever be in that kind of place.
As the time in between posts has grown longer, I came to realize something. Without the past years' material, where I am now makes very little sense. What good is the destination without the journey? As Christians, so much of the best stuff that happens to us is in the times God is molding us to His image. To throw away the evidence of that process would somehow cheapen the result, I think.
So, here we are, dear friends. I think my little mousie may just have rounded a corner finally. Some things will change around here to reflect the changes in my heart. And you know what? That's ok. As much as I typically rage against anything changed in my life, I'm learning to accept the God-given ones. My prayer is that some of you may be encouraged by what you read here. Hey, you may even be challenged. And of course, if you know me, then you know you always stand a good chance of being offended too. Not intentionally, to be sure! Just know that what you find as you wander this Maze with me may surprise you as much as it does me.

All that to say this:

Welcome to

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

God hates liberals...

Right? Isn't that what we're taught in church? Stick a big red "L" on their shirts and let's all call it a day.
It's no secret to most that I'm proudly liberal leaning. It's also no secret that the vast majority of the people I know are quite conservative.
That said, it should also come as no surprise that I've been feeling lost and miserable, kinda floating along without friends.
I have been wondering for awhile now why God has brought me into the company of so very many conservative people. If we serve a God who truly has our very best in mind, then what the dealio?
In the last 3 years, I've tried on and off to become more conservative, both in my manner and my thoughts. Can we say epic fail? Each time I try, I just end up...well, where I am right now. Feeling like a fool who lacks the very thing that makes one a Christian.
All these feelings are part of what makes me avoid church. I haven't been since October '08. I know I should go back, believe me I do. But I just can't. Feeling this way makes me vastly edit what I say, or simply say nothing at all. (I bet you're thinking "Ahhh, so that explains the recent long silences!") That is both in my online interactions, and in real life. (IRL!)
When you feel like you have to tread on eggshells around everyone in your life, it can make a person very jumpy. Sometimes it's easier to withdraw into my little family and forget there's even a larger world out there. When you come down to it, if you have to keep your heart hidden away from those you call friend, really what kind of friendship is that? Or if you have to refrain from speaking up about the hurts and slights you may feel because you are the minority, how is that building up the Body of Christ?
I guess I'm feeling pretty disillusioned with the whole inner workings of Christian fellowship right now. I'm sure we all go through phases like this, but it seems God brings me here regularly. Do I think He wants me to become like those He draws me to? Lord, I'm on my knees crying out "NO!" Please? But if the Body is the true reflection of Him as we often pray to be, claim to be, then perhaps God does hate liberals. And maybe that is why I am where I so often find myself. I pray the answer comes soon.

Til next squeak,

6 Squeaks from the Maze:

Snarfy said...

Don't tread on eggshells, just be you. That is why you made CMU, right? So that we could just be ourselves, right? Liberal, conservative, rich, poor, black, white, hispanic, gay, straight, right? Christians who can be themselves and speak their minds on anything. I don't think God hates liberals, and I don't think he hates conservatives either. HE loves us all equally, and that is the greatness of God. His love isn't an exclusive gift for the white, conservative, American Right.
So post in message boards, and tell the dissenters to back off. Go to church and tell the people who dare say such brazen shit to your face to take the planks from their own eyes.

I love you, please post more blogs. xD

Laurie said...

What I've learned - God has used my lifetime of "Christian faith" to show me over and over again that I am falling short at actually believing Him and trusting Him. As much as I might pride myself on it, He isn't interested in my ability to eloquently support every single one of His statements regarding life, living, and death. I find that whether my own thoughts are leaning with or against the teaching of the "Christian community", whenever those thoughts are the passion driving my public identity, God points out how I seemed to be awfully caught up in my own understanding rather than His heart. I don't get the death penalty - I really don't get hell - I think socialism sounds rather idealic - in my mind, the reality of many pregnancy/parenting scenarios gives powerful argument for abortion - of course war is evil - we should be nurturing the planet - some of the most hypocritical people seem to enjoy congregating within the walls of churches. Ultimately, I keep getting the same lesson: lean not on your own understanding. And I must say, the more I manage to obey that single sentiment, the more at peace I feel on "my stance" regardless of whether or not I can fully argue it to my own satisfaction. I know I likely sound like a simpleton in speaking this way, but I think that's kinda the idea... to a point.

I would LOVE if you and I could enjoy an email conversation where you tell me all the reasons you think what you do about everything from the trinity to what kind of toilet paper God wants us to buy. I would jump on the opportunity to enjoy some iron sharpening as opposed to sitting around a condescending group as we all nod in agreement about the atrocious conditions that surround us. It's not a matter of either one of us winning the other over - it's a matter of each of us being spurred onward in and towards Christ. Contentment doesn't foster that growth.

Stacy said...

You're not alone.

Lori Watson said...

If your church really teaches that God hates liberals, I wouldn't call that a Bible teaching church. Is that a perception or reality? One can believe that conservatives line up better with Scriptural values without believing that God hates liberals (and I don't think we conservatives have everything right either).

I think God's proven that he doesn't hate any of us, as he sacrificied so much for us while we were still his enemies. He does state in his word that he hates sin but it's pretty clear he loves people. I still don't get that actually. We're not all that loveable.

Mrs. P. said...

Laurie, of course God wants us to buy single ply tp! LE GASP! Anything more would be spitting on the Cross! (can you believe I've actually met a handful of Christians who took the WWJD thing so seriously that they would ponder such things?)
Katie, can you ship me some of your cojones? Please? :) Seriously, I wish I was as strong as you.
Lori, there's actually a guy in town that has a giant sign on his lawn stating "I hate liberals." Sometimes it gets switched out with "America the LIBERAL". ~smh~ That kinda sums up how the church body feels to me lately. Just blatantly putting out all the venom in the name of righteousness.
Stacy, hugs girl. We're in good company.

Mrs. P. said...

Ermmm Laurie mah dear...can't send ya my email addy if your profile is private.

Bah, it's not like anyone outside of my friends reads this. LOL.

titorawks (at) comcast (dot) net


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