Still running for the cheese (or why this blog still exists)

As my regular readers can tell, this has been a dry year for me. Just look at the number of posts this year vs. 2008! Awhile back, I had considered either shutting down the Maze, or starting a new blog that would more accurately reflect where I am in life now. Truth be told, sometimes I come here, look around, and feel distinctly hypocrytical about the things I want to write. I'm sure I'm not the only one to ever be in that kind of place.
As the time in between posts has grown longer, I came to realize something. Without the past years' material, where I am now makes very little sense. What good is the destination without the journey? As Christians, so much of the best stuff that happens to us is in the times God is molding us to His image. To throw away the evidence of that process would somehow cheapen the result, I think.
So, here we are, dear friends. I think my little mousie may just have rounded a corner finally. Some things will change around here to reflect the changes in my heart. And you know what? That's ok. As much as I typically rage against anything changed in my life, I'm learning to accept the God-given ones. My prayer is that some of you may be encouraged by what you read here. Hey, you may even be challenged. And of course, if you know me, then you know you always stand a good chance of being offended too. Not intentionally, to be sure! Just know that what you find as you wander this Maze with me may surprise you as much as it does me.

All that to say this:

Welcome to

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Who planned that trip?

I've always been the type to get all reflective (inflective? inflictive? infected? bah.) at the close of the year. Perhaps it's because of the wild ride my life has oftentimes been. (heheh Mr. P., stole your blog title) Regardless, in years previous, I've kept my observations of the year to myself, but this year, I have the Maze! w00t! That means now I have all of you to annoy with my dorkitude. Nerd

This year has been interesting to say the least. For one thing, I've managed to blog for a whole year! Yay! I don't stick with much for long so that really is saying something. When I set out in this Maze, I thought somewhere in the back of my mind that it wouldn't last long because I'm not the writer in the family. Mr. P. has always been the one with the passion for the written arts. I discovered that I enjoy this thing called blogging more than I ever dreamed I might. Lucky for you huh?
Part of the dubious joys of blogging has been watching my inner (and often very hidden) self come through and grow. I'm not the person I was at the beginning of the year, and that's both good and bad. With me, it's always been a 1 step forward, 2 steps back proposition. As I get older, I find that assessment holds even more weight.
Speaking of weight, never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd have joined a gym. Fat Woman 5 <---- gotta love this! I'm looking forward to heading back, now that I have clearance from my surgeon.
Another great segue! Having surgery this year was certainly not in my plans back in January, but I'm grateful for it now. Each day feels like a renewed blessing. Corny to be sure, but very true. It's amazing how you can adjust to long-term pain, but then can quickly forget just how bad it was once you've been set free of it.
Being set free...reminds me of how far I was coming in my faith at the start of the year, and how far I've fallen now. That ol' 1-2 step thing again. In my short time as a Christian, I've had to face many personal demons, and it seems this wacky election year brought many old issues up again for me. Aside from all the ridiculous bickering and BS in the months leading up to Election Day, many of the issues that come with a POTUS race force one to define how they look at the world, and thus in turn, what kind of person they are or hope to be. For those of us with a religious bent, it becomes so much more. It's enough to make you want to not be a grown-up anymore.
Growing up. Ahh. Not only has it been bittersweet to watch my boys grow by leaps and bounds this year, but to find myself feeling like an adult for the first time as well. It's a strange thing for me, and one of the few remaining psychological strongholds my father had on me.
Parents. Meh. Actually, this year has been a defining one for me as a mother. Now I look at my kids in a new light, and hopefully, any other kidlets that come along will help me along this road. The boys have really helped refine me, and challenge me as a mother and person. This year has been the first since their return home that I did not look at our home life and think only of how lacking it was.
Home. As far as 4 letter words go, that's about the best in my mind. This year has been one of tremendous growth and change in our home, and in my marriage. Mr. P. and I have finally figured each other out, and gotten this lil sapling of marital bliss to put down roots. After being rocked by the storms life has thrown our way, it's so good to be where we are. I wouldn't change it for the world.

I know back at the beginning of this journey into blogging, I shared my heart's verse.

Proverbs 16:9- In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.

Looking back, it's pretty clear that He had a different path planned out for me than I did. I can only guess at what 2009 may have in store for us. Lord willing, it'll be just as inspiring and exciting as this one was. For all it's frustrations and fears, highs and lows, 2008 has been a year like no other. I'm glad this trip wasn't all that I planned it to be. His steps were far better than mine.

Til next squeak,

1 Squeaks from the Maze:

Laurie said...

I for one do indeed consider myself lucky that you've ended up enjoying blogging. Thanks for sharing yourself with us!

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